Counselor's Corner

2011-02-16T09:27:00.002-06:00

8 subtle ways to prepare middle schoolers for college
-By Jay Mathews

Spring is coming, and with it, the most angst-ridden part of the college application cycle. High-schoolers will be logging on to university Web sites, trembling at the prospect of rejection. Parents will look at the costs of schools that accept their kids and wonder whether they can afford it.
Many mothers and fathers with children too young for this ordeal will count themselves lucky.
But they might consider ways to get their kids ready for it anyway. Even middle-schoolers will be exposed to the paranoia of the college search, whether parents want them to be or not. This region has the nation’s highest level of average family income and education, so we are particularly susceptible. Twelve-year-olds hear their neighbors, their friends’ parents, their older siblings and their cousins talking about college. They need help dealing with that.
You don’t have to take them on a tour of the top 50 schools on the U.S. News and World Report list. You don’t have to bring it up at all. But if they ask questions, answer them. If you know they have heard something worrisome, set them straight: for example, “No, it is not true that Uncle Freddie’s life was ruined because he didn’t get into Virginia Tech.

I have asked several college admissions and education experts about positive steps that middle-school parents can take. Some of the ideas don’t sound like college prep at all, but they are. If you help a preteen get ready for life, there will be some preparation for college in there somewhere.
Here are eight suggestions:

1. Notice what they enjoy doing, and help them do more of it. Take your hiker on the Appalachian Trail. Have the kid who is addicted to the Food Network bake something for the county fair. Arrange for the singer in your family to audition for a local choir.” It doesn’t matter whether the activity is athletic, service, spirit, leadership, journalistic or academic,” said Potomac-based educational consultant Shelley Levine. “Anything will do, as long as they enjoy the activity.” Northern Virginia-based educational consultant Shirley A. Bloomquist said, “If it is history, there are many local places to explore and discuss. If it is nature and/or geology, enjoy an outing to Great Falls Park. . . . A student of mine, now at Barnard, had a book club with her father over many years.”
Embracing a hobby or pastime is the key to career success and life satisfaction, said Zac Bissonnette, author of the recent college admission guide "Debt-Free U.” He advises middle-school parents not to “let yourself or your kid get caught up in the rat race of mindless achievement. Take time to think, and take time to play.”

2. Make sure your child knows that B’s are fine in middle school and that fun is important. Denise Pope, senior lecturer at the Stanford University School of Education and an expert on student stress, said each student needs a somewhat different message. The overachiever should be told, “You don’t need to do three different extracurricular activities in middle school to get into college,” she said. The less-motivated child needs to hear, “Yes, you can go to college, but first that means passing your courses in middle school.”

3. Enroll them in Algebra I in the eighth grade. Middle-schoolers must apply themselves to high-school-level courses, such as Algebra I. Many colleges count them as part of the high school grade-point average even though they are taken in middle school. Parents should also ensure that their children have finished Algebra I by the end of eighth grade. “I’ve known dozens of kids who would have been up to the challenge of high school level algebra/geometry in eighth grade,” said Philadelphia-based educational consultant David Ginsburg, but they “didn’t have the chance to take it.”

4. Insist they develop some practical housework skills. This won’t seem to them to have much to do with college, which is good. You can say that’s the way you were brought up (warn Grandma to cover for you if this isn’t true) and that is the way it is going to be. You don’t have to tell them that if they have to remember to get the trash and recycling out on the curb every Friday and make Saturday breakfast for their siblings while you go cycling, the coping skills they develop will be invaluable.
Kathy Kuhl, a home-school consultant based in Herndon, said, “We taught and re-taught our children time-management skills and life skills: washing clothes, cooking dinner and managing money.” Her kids were self-sufficient enough to juggle a college workload while doing all the other necessary chores of life.

5. Flavor family trips with a bit of college atmosphere. “On the way to summer vacation at the Outer Banks, have lunch at the University of Richmond’s student center, with its stately Gothic architecture and picturesque lake,” Bloomquist said.

6. Encourage children who are curious about the world to take a foreign language. This can be with CDs or at school. Most middle schools do not require a foreign language but nearly all offer some classes.” Chinese or Arabic would be two to consider,” Bloomquist said. “Colleges are increasingly international in nature. Twenty years ago, Yale had one in 50 international students. Today it is one in 11.”

7. Character counts. Encourage its development. “The college admissions process doesn’t necessarily screen for this,” Pope said, “but parents should be fostering good character traits along with health and engagement.” Just how you do this with sullen tweens and teens is not always clear. Being truthful and practicing what you preach is a good start.

8. Do everything you can to encourage reading. David Storper, president of Bethesda-based Prep U Tutoring, said, “The common denominator among the very best test-takers is a strong background with books. This is usually a habit that starts at a very early age. . . . The problem that many students face is that they are only reading assigned books from school, which can be less than inspiring.”
So, he said, give books to kids that suit their individual interests. “Do not pressure them to read it,” he said. “Just give it to them. If they read, great. If not, try again in a few weeks with a different book.”
Plan a weekly reading night during which everyone finds a comfortable chair in the living room, popcorn at their elbows, and enjoys a book of their choice for an hour or so. Leave some good paperbacks in the car. Talk about the books you are reading.
If reading becomes a habit for them, that will, of course, make them look good to colleges. But it will have even more impact on the quality of their everyday lives and their children’s lives and so on. It is never too soon to get started on that.

Testing Tips for Middle Schoolers

2009-12-14T14:13:00.007-06:00

Some middle schoolers think tests are easy. Some think they are hard. Test questions are not so difficult if you understand how to handle them. Read these strategies and see if they can help you!

TRUE OR FALSE
As a general rule, a question should be answered false if any part of the statement is untrue. Look for words like all, none and always. These may be clues that the answer is false. At the same time, words like often and may usually signal a statement is true.
MULTIPLE CHOICE
With these questions, it's important that you read every choice before choosing an answer. This way you can rule out the ones you know are wrong. Using this strategy, you may narrow it down to two choices instead of five. This increases your chances of choosing a correct answer.
ESSAY
Read each question twice before answering. Outline your thoughts so your answer will be organized. When you are finished, check your spelling, capitalization, and punctuation.

List two ways to improve your test taking strategies.

Source: Middle Years Flyer

Thanksgiving-Celebrating and Giving Thanks

2009-11-10T13:33:00.003-06:00

The fourth Thursday in November is when the United States traditionally celebrates Thanksgiving. It was instituted by Abraham Lincoln in 1863. There are many ways to celebrate Thanksgiving and many ways in which we can give thanks. Here are just a few:
CELEBRATE
1.) Gather your family and friends together.
2.) Plan a nice meal with all the trimmings.
3.) Watch the Thanksgiving parades on television.
4.) Watch the football games.
5.) Get a good nights sleep so you can go shopping the day after with all of your friends.

GIVE THANKS
1.) Appreciate the food you are eating and the people who prepared it for you.
2.) Look at the people around you and be thankful you are not alone.
3.) Be grateful for your family. Nobody loves you more than they do.
4.) Work in a soup kitchen before or after your meal.
5.) Be thankful for all that you have, all you have gotten through in the past year, and all the little things in your life.

Please write down 3 ways to celebrate Thanksgiving and 3 things you can do to be thankful.

Source: eHow.com

STARTING OFF THE SCHOOL YEAR ORGANIZED!

2009-09-21T13:03:00.008-05:00

Getting organized will help you do better in school and will make it easier to study!

Being organized means:

Setting Goals - both long & short term

Making Schedules - use your planner, be realistic, don't procrastinate

Having Time for Fun - play sports, spend time with friends, do volunteer work

Why is being organized important?

Helps you be a better student

Reduces stress

You feel good about yourself

You will succeed in the future

Start with Good Study Skills

Use a daily planner

Use color- coded notebooks.

Keep your backpack and locker neat.

Schedule a regular homework time.

Set up a study area.

Avoid distractions.

Take breaks.

Remember to set goals for yourself, learn how to prioritize, and have a good schedule. Don't forget to plan ahead!!! Once you're organized you will have time for work and fun!!!

On a paper list two reasons why it is important to be organized & list two good study skills.

Source: Getting Organized Booklet

How To Get Good Grades - In Ten Easy Steps

2009-03-31T09:37:00.014-05:00

Here are ten tips on how to get good grades.
1. Believe in Yourself - Think positively, be confident, and tell yourself "I can do this!" If you think that you can't succeed, or if you allow past failures to keep you from trying, you'll never get anywhere.
2. Get Organized - Use an assignment book, three ring binders, folders for school work, have phone numbers for classmates, keep your locker and backpack neat, and get organized before you go to bed!
3. Manage Your Time Well - Use class time & study halls. Create your own study plan, whether it be at night or in the morning. Prepare for sabatoge. Identify anything that could interrupt or ruin your plan and figure out how to eliminate or avoid it.
4. Be Successful in the Classroom - Adapt to different teachers. Be in school, on time, everyday. Be prepared for class. Sit in the front if possible. Do your homework. Participate in class. Be a good group member. Treat others with respect. Involve your parents.
5. Take Good Notes - Be an active listener. Take notes and pay attention. Recognize important information. Take notes you can read. Get lecture notes in you are absent.
6. Know How to Read a Textbook - Scan, Read, Review.
7. Study Smart - Find a good place to study. Know your learning style. Use tricks to memorize information. Know how to write a paper.
8. Use Test Taking Strategies - Get off to a good start. Develop a plan. Mark questions you want to return to. Look for key words in True/False questions. Increase your odds on multiple-choice questions. Check answers. Go over returned tests.
9. Reduce Test Anxiety - Study early. Rekax, take a deep breath. Walk into a test with your head up and a smile on your face. Think Positive.
10. Get Help When You Need It - When you have a problem, do something to resolve it. Talk to a teacher, counselor or principal.

Write down 5 ways you can help yourself to get good grades.

Taken from "How to get good grades in ten easy steps"

2009-02-27T07:44:00.000-06:00

True or False
Friend

Are you a good, maybe even great friend to your pals? Test your knowledge about true friendship by answering these questions.

1. When John was in 6th grade he and his friends played a lot of sports. Now in 8th grade he wants to audition for the school play but his pals have never been into theater and think that the drama club is for losers. What should John do?
A. Try out for the play, regardless of what his friends think.
B. Forget his acting dreams and stick to what he knows – sports.

2. Erin’s friend Beth like to gossip about kids in school. She usually picks on kids clothes, skin condition and hair. Erin used to think Beth’s comments were funny, but now she thinks it’s just being mean. What should Erin do?
A. Keep her thoughts to herself and stay quiet when Beth is being critical of others. As long as Erin isn’t spreading the gossip herself, it’s OK.
B. Try to talk to Beth about not being so negative about others. It’s important to be honest with your friends.

3. Theresa has recently started hanging out with a new boy at school. When she tries to talk about him with her best friend, Debbie, Debbie always changes the subject. What should Theresa do?
A. Forget about talking with Debbie about this new guy and just hang out with her best friend like they did before.
B. Quit hanging out with the new guy.
C. Calmly but assertively, tell Debbie that she needs her best friend’s advice on how to handle the relationship with this new guy.

4. Brian and Samantha have been friends for a long time. They both play soccer and like to talk about sports, plus they have the same taste in music. Brian’s buddies keep telling him to “date’ her. What should Brian do?
A. Take his buddies advice and ask Samantha to be his girlfriend.
B. Ignore his buddies and maintain the friendship as is with Samantha.

Things to remember:
Middle school years are a good time to try out new and different activities. It is important to support your friends in any positive endeavor. Good friends will like you and care about you for the person you are and will support you in whatever positive activities you pursue.

Trust is a crucial quality to have in a friendship, and people who spread rumors are not trustworthy. If you’re pals with a gossip, it’s your duty to try to straighten out your friend.

Any good relationship is based on good communication. If you’re friend needs to talk with you about something, you need to listen and not judge. The most important skill in a good friendship is to learn how to listen so that the other person feels “heard”.

It is healthy for boys and girls to be just friends. The advantage is that you learn more about how the other person thinks and it teaches you to appreciate a perspective different from your own.

- adapted from True or False Friend, Scholastic Choices Magazine, January 2009

Everybody Has Prejudices

2009-02-02T13:12:00.006-06:00

Everybody Has Prejudices

Do you know anyone who thinks people of other races, religions, ethnic groups, and cultural groups aren’t as smart, attractive, hard-working, or talented as people of their own group and, therefore, don’t deserve the same rights?

Do you know anyone who feels uncomfortable around people who are different from them and, as a result, treats them differently, acts unfriendly toward them, avoids them, or even hates them and tries to hurt them?

Have you ever heard anyone say – in person, on television, or in a newspaper – that immigrants have no right to the same freedoms “real Americans” have struggled for? That homeless people could find work “if they really wanted to”? That women are “too emotional” to hold political office? That elderly people aren’t good for much?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you have been exposed to racism, prejudice and bias. If you have thought, said, or done any of these things yourself, then you have prejudices…just like everybody else.

If you’ve silently stood by while other people said or did any of these things, then you have condoned their actions. As one Wisconsin eleventh grader says, “If someone is referring to another racial or ethnic group in a negative way, tell them how you feel about it. Remaining silent only allows them to think that you believe the same.”

Source: Respecting Our Differences

Please answer these questions:
1. Why do people think others do not deserve the same rights as they do?
2. Name two types of people that we can be prejudiced about.
3. By remaining silent what will people think about you?

2008-12-17T06:41:00.005-06:00

Children look forward to Christmas all year; Santa's arrival and the promise of new toys leaves them anticipating the perfect day with their family and new gadgets. They spend hours examining the presents under the tree, trying to guess which one holds what, and they enjoy the excitement generated by Christmas. But the day after, kids can be struck by a fit of post-holiday blues. So how can you get through the blues?

1. Make a scrapbook. Holiday cards have been flying in since the first of December. Instead of shoving them in a drawer why not put them to good use? Cut out the pictures, put them on a poster and make a scrapbook.

2. Recycle the lights. Take an extra string or two and hang them in your room to brighten it up.

3. Donate your old toys. Pick out some of your old things to donate to some less fortunate kids. Decide which ones to donate and take them to the nearest donation center.

4. Take pictures. Take pictures of your new presents and make a photo album. Take pictures of the things you received from relatives that didn't make it to your celebration and make copies of those pictures to put in a thank you note.

5. Take a walk. Chances are you have not had to help take down the outdoor Christmas decorations, but you would like to get out of the house. Grab your dog and take a walk.

6. Start a new tradition. Other than going to the mall, decide to go to the zoo or ice skating on the 26th or 27th. These places won't be busy because everyone is at the mall taking advantage of the holiday sales!

7. Declare a day of rest. Get out some new books and settle down on the couch to rest. This is a great way to relax after the holidays.

8. Play outside. If there is snow you can go sledding, make snow angels, create snowmen.

source: "Cure the Post-Holiday Blues"

List 3 way you can overcome the holiday blues.

2008-11-14T13:02:00.000-06:00

Be a True Friend

To be a good friend you need to like yourself and act in a friendly way towards others. You need to: greet others, use good manners, tell the truth, listen well, meet the needs of yourself and others, and show respect and love in your actions with others. By doing these, you increase your chances of becoming a good friend.
One thing that limits a friendship is the amount of time you have to share with others. Everyone has stuff to do at home, at school or even at work that limit how much time can be spend with friends. Time limits allow only a small number of people to become good friends with you.

Another limitation on friendship is your interests. Most friendships center on common interests. Most friends share at least one interest and do things together they enjoy. This interest is often what originally created the friendship.
A lack of common interests can be why some people don’t become friends. Even though they are friendly towards one another, if you don’t have something in common, you may just end up going your separate ways. This can sometimes lead to feelings of disappointment or frustration.

Everyone has the right to choose who his or her friends will be. This also limits the number of friends you may have. Friendship is something that a person has to freely choose. It’s a choice that is sometimes difficult to make. You need to respect each person’s right to choose his/her own friends. You need to respect this acceptance or rejection by others. Yet everyone is capable of being a good friend.

It is important to see the difference between being a friend and acting friendly. You can act friendly with everyone. You can greet others, be helpful, and generally show respect and kindness. These are very helpful in getting along well with others. In return, other people with usually show respect and kindness back to you. But, being a friend involves much more than just friendly actions. It takes time and effort to do things with other people on a regular basis. You need to listen well. This means trying to understand what is being said as well as how the person is feeling. You need to be honest. You need to show respect. You need to meet the needs of others. You need to spend time, share things about yourself and allow the other person to share things with you.

To have a friend, you must be a friend first.

Name 3 things that limit a friendship.

2008-11-07T13:57:00.003-06:00

Hey, I don’t want to be a RAT!

A problem in schools across America is that kids are reluctant to tell their teachers and other staff members about bullying because they don’t want to be known as a “rat” or “tattle-tail.” They may fear that other kids will begin to make fun of them because of telling or the kid they told on may become angry and begin to bully them. It is understandable that kids feel this way.

BUT…it is very important to remember that bullying is a very serious problem and in many cases it is a crime. Some kids are in physical danger from being bullied, some may hurt themselves due to the bullying and still others may become violent and try to hurt the bully or others with their fists or weapons. So there is danger in not telling.

It is very important to remember that by telling you do not have to give your name. This is called an anonymous reporting. Bullystoppers.com is an example of anonymous reporting. But you can also make an anonymous report by writing the information down on a piece of paper and leaving it on your teacher or counselor’s desk or mail slot in the office.

How to decide if you should tell:
· Tell if a kid is being threatened by a bully
· Tell if a kid is being embarrassed in front of other kids.
· Tell if rumors are being spread about a kid
· Tell if a kid is being bullies on the internet

source:Bullystoppers.com

Write down the 4 ways to decide if you should tell on a bully.

The New School Year

2008-09-25T12:10:00.004-05:00

A New school year! What an exciting time. You’ll meet new people, perhaps you’re even going to a new school. Just remember everyone is feeling the same way your are – nervous, excited and maybe a bit afraid.

To be sure this year is the best one yet, take some time right now to make some plans. Think about your friends – do they help or hurt you? Think about learning – are there some subjects you do well in and some that need improvement? How about habits? Do you have some good skills and some you need to work on? And what about bullying? Were you involved in bullying last year as someone who bullied, as someone who was bullied or as someone who witnessed bullying (a bystander)? Chances are you were. Now is a good time to think about changes and put them into action.

1. Think about the friend you had last year and the activities you did together. Did you have a good time or were you causing trouble. Did you get bullied? If so, start to talk to people (friends, parents, teachers or school counselors) about what you can do differently this year. Make a plan to join students doing positive activities. Decide how you will deal with your old friends. Will you ask them to join you with a different group? Will you tell them you’ll hang out but don’t’ want to be involved in bullying behavior? Sometimes we fall into old habits (like bullying) easily. If you have a plan you’ll be less likely to fall back into the same old ways.

2. Have a back-to-school-party. Ask a few friends (or people you’d like to get to know) to do something fun. Talk about some of the activities and sports you might like to join this year. See if anyone else wants to join you (but don’t let it stop you from joining if no one else does!) If you’re school has a bullying problem, your party might be a great way to kick off an anti-bullying club. Share the ideas your club generated with your teacher or principal. Perhaps your club can become a school-wide activity!

3. Find a new friend. Make an attempt to make one new friend the first month of school. It might be someone who you’ve gone through school with but never really talked to or a new student in your classroom. Try to meet someone you might not usually talk with – meeting people different from us is what makes life exciting. You might not become best friends, but by being kind and thoughtful to everyone in your class you’ll be off to the start of a fantastic school year.

What (3) things can you do according to this article to make this your best year ever?!

Source: www.canadiansafeschools.com/students/info/year.htm

Peer Pressure Can Silence Students

2008-03-25T12:07:00.003-05:00

When 13-year-old Gabrielle Hanley has a question about something a teacher said in one of her classes at Cudahy Middle School, she doesn't dare raise her hand to ask her teacher to explain.

Neither does her friend, Cassandra Stiff, also 13.

Both girls worry that by asking the teacher to explain something they don't understand, they will be teased by classmates who think they are "stupid" or "dumb."

They say they know it's illogical to think that way, but they do.

"When you're in school, the thing you care about most is what other people think," Stiff said the other day as she and Hanley struggled to do their math homework during a "Homework Club" session in their school library.

"Like, you don't want to feel stupid," says Stiff, a colorful array of "jelly bracelets" on her left wrist, "because you have to see those people, like,
every day."

"You feel bad," Hanley says. "So, you just don't raise your hand and you try to get what (the teacher) is saying."

Specialists say Hanley and Stiff are hardly alone, estimating that as many as one in three students is fearful of raising a hand in class. The result can be devastating. Students who don't ask questions are likely to fall behind and become discouraged and lose interest in school, experts say.

"I think kids who aren't asking questions are likely to have incomplete comprehension of what they're learning," says Mel Levine, a pediatrics professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and co-chairman of All Kinds of Minds, a non-profit organization that studies differences in learning.

"That can catch up with them over time," Levine says. "They can pretty much disengage from the subject matter. They may develop broader fears and a whole sense of intimidation when they are in school."

Teachers are trying to combat the problem.

"I think that we as teachers try to make them feel safe to be able to ask questions."

Gress says the possibility of being ridiculed for asking questions is probably more imagined than real. But she doesn't take any chances. She has set up a voice message system that her students can call until 8:30 p.m. in case they need to ask her questions.

The reasons for being fearful of asking questions in class vary, says Jim Fay, co-founder of the Golden, Colo.-based Love and Logic Institute, an educational consulting firm used by several area schools, including Stormonth Elementary School in Fox Point.

"If you had a class of 30 kids, there'd probably be 30 different reasons why kids would be not quick to ask questions when they don't know," Fay says.

Those reasons can range from a child's temperament to a student's previous "luck" with asking questions in school, Fay says.

"If you have a kid who's real sensitive and he gets up the nerve to ask some questions early in his school career, and it doesn't work out too well for him, that really sinks in and probably sticks with him for a long, long time," Fay says. "It's going to take a lot of trust on his part with the other teachers to feel comfortable (asking questions)."

Levine says some students suffer from "expressive language problems," meaning they have difficulty articulating what is on their minds.

The problem is worse when such students encounter something in class that they do not fully comprehend.

"One of the hardest problems is to express something you don't understand," Levine says. "Some of these kids are kids who could formulate a question, but they don't have time."

He says in many classrooms students have only a few seconds to formulate a question.

"So, if you're not a really good linguist, by the time you figure out how to say your question, they're talking about something else," Levine says.

Which is one of the reasons after-school study groups, such as the Homework Club established at Cudahy Middle School, are beneficial.

There, students such as Stiff and Hanley get the opportunity to ask volunteer tutors about things they don't understand without regard to how their questions will make them look to their peers.

The tutors include Jenna Lequia, 17, a National Honor Society student at Cudahy High School who says she used to be fearful of raising her hand in class until her freshman year in high school.

She advises students who are afraid to raise their hands to "just do it, because eventually you're going to have to. You shouldn't worry about what other people think."

Her fellow tutor, Mary Sorrenti, 18, and a senior at Cudahy High School, voices similar concerns.

"What they have to be concerned about is getting their homework done and getting good grades," Sorrenti says, "because 20 years from now, those kids who are laughing at them won't be a part of their lives."

Retrieved on March 25, 2008 from http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=293485